What Teachers Are REALLY Saying In Reports

Report writing time.

Also known in the teaching world as “Procrastinate-Until-I-Can’t-Clean-Another-Thing-Or-Distract-Myself-In-My-House Time“.

The extra workload during this time of year can be pretty manic. Finding time to write up 25+ reports amongst the usual planning, assessment, yard duties, staff meetings, professional learning meetings, meetings about meetings, lunch clubs and general craziness of school life can be tricky.

Especially when we then throw in some teaching on top of that.

But, let’s get down off that pedestal and back to the truth of the matter. I actually enjoy writing reports. Sharing and celebrating kids efforts, growth and personalities is great fun.

As is coming up with creative ways to express these things in what I call Reportalese. 

We all know that reports can’t fully tell you what a teacher is thinking about your child, but there are certain markers within the old language of teachers

Here’s a quick lesson in Reportalese starring 5 individuals that could be in any classroom:

Angus has shown an adventurous energy and affinity for visual arts throughout this semester. This is particularly evident when he has the opportunity to design and craft models and sculptures. I encourage him to take care when using and packing away materials, especially with regards to using them in appropriate ways.

Your kid is adventurous – he loves eating a concerning amount of random things in class, particularly glue during art sessions. 

Kid eating glue.gif


Veruca should be proud of the efforts she has made in actively listening to whoever is speaking or presenting. With continuous modeling and supervision, she has begun to make positive choices in her learning, especially with where she chooses to sit during whole class discussions.

Seriously, your kid needs to stop annoying and distracting everyone else. She literally sits on my feet throughout every lesson.


Valkyrie is a dynamic, eager and highly enthusiastic student who throws herself headfirst into each and every learning session. She has made concerted efforts in achieving her learning goal of maintaining focus and I look forward to continuing to support her with this.

This kid is great, but I’m pretty sure she has ADHD. Or else bloody made of Red Bull.


Bellamy is a happy and caring child who enjoys imaginative thinking times. Whilst he can require some reminders to complete learning tasks within negotiated deadlines, he has shown a steady improvement in his time management.

This kid is lovely and wouldn’t hurt a fly, but also a bit of a space cadet. Its taken him a semester to finally start writing his own name on work. And he’s in Year Nine. I wonder what he sees when he stares at that brick wall all day?


Scout is a thoughtful, reflective and engaged learner who has shown a love of all areas of learning. She is a considerate friend and peer to all in her class, making an effort to support those around her with learning or personal issues. I thank her for the continuous guidance she provides to all within our class and I commend her for the maturity and emotional intelligence she shows each and every day!

Your kid is a serious legend. Can you have 24 clones made by tomorrow?


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