Disclosure: this post was originally written in the early hours of the morning…before coffee.
I’m currently sitting on the edge of our bed waiting out the snuffles and random dinosaur cries that float out of the bassinet nearby. It’s safe to say I’m already learning from previous mistakes: the screen brightness is set as low as possible and I’ve mastered the art of half pressing the keys when typing to type like a ninja.
The Little Dinosaur/Squawker has been up since just before 5am, enjoying a wonderful Melbourne morning.
It’s been a productive morning for the both of us: The Little Dinosaur Squawker has successfully got both hands into her mouth and I’ve reworded some Fresh Prince of Bel Air lyrics.
In the north-side of Melbourne Town, born and raised,
in a bassinet where I spent most of my days,
chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool,
just shooting some spittle onto my wool,
when a couple of parents got up to no good
started making trouble in my neighbourhood.
They gave my one little fright and I got bloody scared,
So I said “I gonna scream for hours just to make things fair”.
See, that’s the thing I’ve discovered; when lack of sleep isn’t tormenting you, not sleeping properly, being awake in the dead of the night and lack of sleep can actually be a kind, kind friend who gives you gifts you never knew you wanted…like new lyrics to Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Coz’, I’m not going to lie, there were a few times when I have been looking down at our Little Dinosaur and thought “This sucks”.
I think there may have even been a moment (between shrieks smashing through ear drums for an hour) when I may or may not have said out loud,
“I don’t hate you, I hate what you’re doing”
It was while moving through my usual route of up the hallway, down the hallway, down the stairs, around the island bench (two times), past the study and going back up the stairs, that I realised something:
I’m the one choosing to get frustrated and over it.
The kid is simply cold/hot/dirty/hungry/gassy (or all of the above).
She’s just doing her job: staying alive.
Yes, I am bloody tired, but if I’m going to be up, I may as well not spend the whole time upset and frustrated. That only makes me and The Little Dinosaur more stressed.
I choose my attitude, so if I’m going to be up, I may as well get the most out of it.
Step One: Add One New Word
Shift from saying “She’s not sleeping” to “She’s not sleeping yet”
(Dr Carol Dweck, you legendary growth mindset guru, you).
Step Two: Prepare for a Victorious Battle
Approach the battle of sleep exactly like that – it’s a battle, not a war. In the end, you will win this battle AND every battle you win leads you closer to winning the war (that wonderful kid sleeping all the way through).
Step Three: Pick a Time Wasting Game
Pick a game to play. Here’s my two suggestions – “What’s The Kid Really Saying Game” and “Which 90s Song Can I Remake“. Both of these games are equal in merit and we all know how much commercial radio is loving 90s remakes, so you could even have the next biggest hit on your hands.
Game 1: What’s The Kid Really Saying Game
Whenever the kid makes a coo, whimper, squeal, cry, shriek, fart, bellow, chortle, snort, gargle or any other form of gibberish, act as the translator for the kid. For every response you get back from your child, you get a point. Double points if you make yourself laugh.
Translator: What do you mean the nappy bin is full, Dad!! God, just empty it already….seriously.
Game 2: Which 90s Song Can I Remake
See the beginning of this post for some
amazingly terrible inspiration. (Again, you’re welcome).
You definitely won’t enjoy every moment of the night, but hey, if you’re already going to be up at 3am, it can’t hurt to find the positive…or some sweet new lyric.
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