Right now as we speak you have an incredible power waiting to be used. Like all superpowers, you have the choice in how you use it…for good or evil.
It’s a power we use every day, but often we have no idea we are unleashing it on those around us…
Your voice.
Or more specifically, your tone of voice.
Every single time you speak there are two things coming out of your mouth:
- Words
- Feelings
When we communicate with others we can’t really control the way they interpret what we are saying. They have their own brains and experiences shaping what they take in.
But, we control how we send out our messages.
People know exactly what you are really saying, even if you have used all the right words. Your body language, expression and tone of voice says a lot more to the people listening.
I’ll give you a simple example from the last week. Now keep in mind that I am trying to talk about tone of voice via the medium of writing…so we will require the help of visuals.
The end of a terrible maths lesson has finally arrived…the bell had gone for lunch and it was nearly time when I could escape for some down time to recuperate rock myself in a corner devour a sandwich. While walking down the corridor I saw a friend from a different level. We made eye contact and knew we were going to talk.
My friend was beaming and was obviously in the middle of having a fantastic day.
Beaming Friend: Hey! Just had an amazing maths session that worked perfectly!
Me: Congrats, you must be feeling great.
I made sure I gave a smile while looking them in the eye, threw up a thumbs up and slowed down my walking speed to show some interest before continuing to sneak away.
I’d successfully showed I cared while also getting away for some me time.
Right?
No. way.
The one thing I hadn’t checked was the way I spoke. Whilst I may have done every other thing correctly it didn’t matter, because of how I’d spoken.
This is what was actually being said through our tone of voice, expression and body language:
Beaming Friend: I’ve come all the way up to the 5/6 area because I am really proud of something I’ve been working on all year and it actually worked today! I really want to share this great moment with you!
Me: I really don’t care right now.
We say a lot more than the words coming out of our mouth.
How you speak, the way you stand, the expression on your face and tone of voice lets people hear what you are really saying…especially kids.
They know when you don’t care or aren’t really listening.
They know you’re proud of them.
They know when you aren’t taking them seriously.
Seriously.
If you’re ever not sure of this, start a discussion with, “Before we start, what’s my tone of voice telling you right now?”
Your kids will tell you how serious or cheerful the following conversation may be.
In the end, it isn’t only the words we use that make the impact, the way we deliver them seals the deal.
Like one of my greatest mentors always used to say to me,
“Speak to people the way you want them to react”
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Enjoyed this week’s post? Try these out!
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How You Can Stop Your Kid Failing Maths – help your kid stop failing maths, right now.
The One Thing The Best Teachers And Mentors All Do – you can do the one thing too.
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